It's been a while since I've written anything personal. Most of my posts lately have been just photos of new art, explaining how they were made. Today I want to talk about a shift in my art process that I've been planning on making for a while now. Any of you who have read my blogs in the past, know that the work I make is inspired from my experiences, 90% of the time - bad experiences. I draw on my sadness, my anger, my anxiety and I paint my emotions and for a short time this makes me feel better.
But the relief never lasts long. It lasts a few hours, a couple days at most. Then I'm searching through my heart for what hurts so I can get it out through another painting. I've been stuck on the idea that pain = inspiration since I was 17 and I've finally realized that this is a cycle that is probably not the healthiest way to deal with my problems.
There's a quote I read once a long time ago by Lana Del Rey talking about her addiction to alcohol. While I'm not an alcoholic these words struck a chord with me: "at first it's fine and you think you have a dark side – it's exciting – and then you realise the dark side wins every time if you decide to indulge in it. It's also a completely different way of living when you know that...a different species of person. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me"
I think it's very easy to romanticize addictions or sadness. The movies and music make it seem so interesting to be lost, to be hurting. The happy characters are always boring, why is that? Well I'm sick of the dark side winning and I'm ready to focus on happiness.
So I'm making a move to change my process. Instead of focusing on the things that scare or hurt me, I'm going to make paintings that distract me from that pain. I'm hopeful that by not allowing myself to stew on any one particular bad experience or feeling for hours, days or even months on end just to make a good series of paintings; I'll spend more time feeling less anxious, or generally just feeling GOOD. I'm not sure how much this will change my painting style, and my subjects will most likely still be similar - but where I draw inspiration will be from a new place. I'm going back to the tried and true things from my childhood that always relaxed me; drawing hair and faces just for fun, reading fiction/fantasy books and enjoying the mystery of forests and fields. I promise to try my best not to be boring.
Lana Del Rey photo from here.
Hi friends! Welcome to the blog! I'm Mandy and I'm an artist, blogger & founder of the "Artists to Know" interview series. Here you'll find photos of my latest art adventures, furniture makeover projects & advice from successful artists!
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